After things happen I feel like we should all learn from them and do better so let’s talk about when your child’s mother or father is in a serious stable relationship that is truly growing and maybe things are getting very serious, maybe they’re about to get married or maybe you’re in a situation where they already are. Now is the time when parents can start feeling like they’re somehow losing something and someone else is somehow gaining. The truth is that in a situation like this everyone is gaining. Your child is forming a new bond with someone who should love them dearly and be another positive figure in their life. That isn’t a bad thing and if your only reason for feeling like it is a bad thing is because the person isn’t you then you still have a lot of personal growth ahead of you. You will always be their mother or father no matter who comes into the picture. If you can look through the lenses of maturity then you’ll see that this is the perfect opportunity to show your child what unconditional love is. No, I don’t think this transition will be a cake walk for everyone because sometimes this all happens faster than you heal, sometimes it happens and you just don’t agree but no matter how you feel as long as your child is loved, safe and well taken care of you should be thankful. Tomorrow isn’t promised and if you have the right attitude you can embrace the fact that if something ever were to happen to you then your child is blessed with someone who will love them as their own along with their mother or father. That’s more than a lot of people can say and definitely a blessing for your child, which again is who should come first in all things.
Everything doesn’t have to be negative and everything isn’t a personal attack against you. Some things are just what they are, they are experiences, they are lessons, they are difficult but possible, they are uncomfortable but can be everything you need to grow and evolve into the best you possible. Co parenting and making it all work out for the best is becoming rare and the beauty that can be in blended families who love and respect each other isn’t present enough when held alongside statistics but let’s change that. Let’s change our thinking and let’s change our actions. Let’s show love, compassion and maturity. Let’s teach our children that no matter what happens in life our perspective and character is what will determine the ultimate outcome. For those of you struggling with any of this my heart goes out to you but please know that you’re important and you’re worthy of the best life and sometimes that requires real shaping and molding which comes from how we deal with different situations. Maybe in order for this to work in your personal situation you have to be the bigger person, if so, be that. Do whatever you need to do to create the best possible life for your child even if that means sitting some of that excess personal pride aside. You will be blessed and you will live a much happier life.