Broken Crayons

The other day I was doing a deep cleaning of my house before winter sets in, a necessary evil when you have children and animals. I was sorting through the crayon box, pulling out all of the broken crayons when I had the most beautiful epiphany….

I have long believed the idea that broken crayons still color. I myself have been cracked and broken more times than I care to remember. As I sorted through those crayons, pulling out the broken pieces to throw away, I silently thanked God for not giving up on me and throwing me away. Then I realized that there was so much more to broken crayons than the fact that they are broken or the fact that they are still capable of coloring. You see, when handled properly, a broken crayon can be made into so much more and be used is a number of different ways aside from coloring. With a little time, patience, love, and dedication, broken pieces of crayon can be shaped, molded, melted, and turned into some of the most beautiful pieces of artwork. I mean, have you seen Pinterest lately?

So what does my children’s box of half broken crayons have to do with you or any of us for that matter? Allow me to explain. See, in this world we are God’s crayons. Life will inevitably break us down, we will get hurt and broken in the process of trying to color our world the way we see fit. Pieces of us will continue to break off as long as we keep trying to live our lives the way we want to, until there is nothing left of us. However, if we truly submit ourselves to the will of God, He will melt, reshape, and mold us into His image. He will use our brokenness to change us; He will use the fire to refine us. “For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver.” Malachi 3:2-3 But you must be willing to recognize, admit, and surrender your brokenness and trust in Him to refine and restore you in order for Him to do so. “Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned aware from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty. Malachi 3:7. Unless you allow Him to refine you, to return to you, you will continue to break and shatter and lose pieces of yourself and who you were designed to be. Who do you want to be? What legacy do you want to leave in this world? Hurt people hurt people, but healed people heal people. 

A couple of months ago I was just tired. I was tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of the pain, pain that I could not even understand much less express to anyone else. I don’t know how else to explain it other than to say that I could no longer fight, hide, or deny my own pain and brokenness. I had no energy to face it or run from it anymore, which put me in the perfect position to finally hand it over to God. I am a very strong and stubborn woman (well I was), so I’m sure you can only imagine just how much it took to get me to that point. For the first time in my life I truly feel like I am healing. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I am being made anew. I handed God all of the broken pieces of my crayon once and for all and am fully allowing Him to do with me what He will. I still have much to learn and quite some ways to go, but I am excited to see the beautiful piece of artwork that God intends to shape me into. I am ready to be one of the many parts that make up the body of Christ. Just as broken crayons can be made into beautiful pieces of art, or candles, or decorations, I am ready to allow Him to shape me into someone with a beautiful purpose. I know God has a plan for me, a plan for all of us, and for the first time in my life, I am trusting Him to fulfill His plan. Always remember, God uses broken people like you and me to help broken people like you and me <3 Own your brokenness, give it to God, and stand back and watch in awe of the work He can do in your life.

My name is Christin and I am a 28 year old single mother of two little boys. It has only been in the last couple of years that I have begun to realize that my life is not my own. God has been the author of my life and I am merely the illustrator, with my art being a constant work in progress. I am always seeking to learn and understand new ideas, concepts, and points of view. I have an undergrad degree in Criminal Justice and finished my MA in Human Services Counseling in May of 2015. I am an exceptionally emotional little critter and most of my life believed that that alone was my downfall. It is through God I have come to understand that instead of being my downfall, that was His gift to me. I possess an incredibly attuned ability to feel everything, which in turn allows me to understand all points of view and see the world through the eyes of compassion, grace, and understanding. It also greatly increases my intuitive abilities, which have proven to be a wonderful gift indeed. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and ideas with you all! Feel free to look me up on Instagram @mommabear723

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