Men

Challenging the Alpha Male

A true Gentleman inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more. –Being Caballero-

We constantly hear some guy proclaiming himself as the “Top-Dog” or the “Alpha-Male”, as if that self-assigned title provided some validation to his own idealized superiority complex, or to his delusion of a world where others live just to serve him. To me, any man who uses this term is simply exposing his personal insecurities, his ignorance to what a leader is and pettiness of his spirit. He has no understanding what it means to be part of a Pack/Family and much less the role of the leader within the Pack.

The role of the Alpha is not to be served by the Pack, but rather to serve the Pack. The reason he is given first pick of whatever is hunted is because the Alpha needs to be strong to better serve the pack. He is the one at the front of a hunt, the one that assumes the greatest risks of harm, and carries on his shoulders the responsibility of the pack’s success or failure, which is determined by his actions. He leads, not by orders and arrogance, but by example and humility.

Alpha is not a position of convenience. The Pack’s livelihood depends on the Alpha’s actions. He doesn’t look for excuses, or blames his pack mates when failure happens. He is fully aware that if he is not successful in his service to the pack, it is the packs responsibility to remove him, usually forcefully. As his life is to set an example, he knows and accepts the reality that it will end violently.

So, every time we hear a petty, self-centered man claiming to be THE Alpha, we see how little he understands the very nature of the word and the world of Packs. These guys lack the understanding of the responsibility, honor, and extended accountability that comes from this role.

To be able to understand the very nature required to be a true Alpha, a man must become a true Gentleman. He must never view himself as superior to anyone, but he must hold himself to superior expectations. He must treat all people with respect at all times, because everyone has a role and a purpose within life.

He must learn to lead by serving. Those around him should know he exists, yet when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: “We, as a Pack, did it ourselves”. He must look at the nobility within everyone. That is why a true gentleman must compare himself to a Lion or an Alpha Wolf – creatures that live, fight, and die for their family.

The Alpha doesn’t need to inspire with words, but with actions. His goal is to inspire others to become more and to bread his own replacement. His role is not to be served, but to serve. Then, and only then, will people will understand what it means to be a true Alpha.

“It’s not about the Guy you used to be, but the Gentleman you’ve become.” – Being Caballero
Contributor to The Good Men Project , MNSWR Magazine , and Gentlemenhood .
Architect, Writer, Speaker, Gentleman Coach, and Advisory board member to the National Council on Women and Girls and the National Council on Men and Boys .

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