2.) Set true boundaries and rules.
Relationships without boundaries are like rules created by kids. They are well behaved only by their own standards. Instead of avoiding the unhealthy things about the relationship, bring it to the light for you and your partner to practice self-control, discipline and compromise. Things such as no flirting, no protected cell phones around each other, no discussing relationship issues with others, and no pornography are good places to start with boundary setting. Deep down, there are a few things your partner does that involves other people, most likely of the opposite sex that you won’t talk to them about because you don’t want to be labeled jealous, insecure or any of that. Things that are considerable, realistic and important to you. This is where compromising and understanding will come to life.
3.) Have a focus for the relationship and future plans often.
Nothing annoys someone who doesn’t want a future with you more than checking to see where things are headed. There are a lot of people going with the flow simply because it’s convenient. When two people intentionally sit down and talk about where their relationship is headed and needs to go, it opens room for correction, it makes them evaluate the situation so lack of growth can be recognized and addressed. It becomes easier to see if the relationship is or isn’t worth holding on to. I am not suggesting you do a check list but making sure that your vision is aligned so that you both aren’t wasting each other’s time going with the flow.
4.) Have no Plan B.
This should be a no brainer, unfortunately it’s not. Many people enter relationships with someone they grabbed out of the pool of the interested folks they were entertaining, but never get rid of the pool. Many no longer communicate with all the people they were involved with however they still keep in touch with a few of them for the purpose of having a back-up. They see no harm with having someone up next to bat. This limits the effort they put into the relationship during the tough times. I mean, why go through the bad times with someone when you can have a good time with someone new? It makes it a lot easier to walk away.
5.) Put everything out on the table.
I double dare you to do this. Share your darkest secrets with each other and see where it goes. Most people think they can handle it, however they are far from capable. When partners share things like their sexual history, health issues, and certain views on certain things it can cause to see you in a different light, a light that can change the directions of things. Many couples believe if it’s in the past, they don’t need to share it and their partner will love them more if they don’t know the dark things in the past. However, true love is really measured in forgiveness, true love is someone knowing the worst things about you yet loving you anyway. If someone cannot know the darkest parts of you, then they will never know the true you. If they can’t handle it then they can’t love you entirely.