4.) Date differently.
I started the blog talking about what to do when selecting a partner, so it makes sense to also touch base on what to do when you have a partner. There’s no greater time for celibacy to be hard, than when you are actually with someone. We associate love with sex and there is nothing wrong with that, but we must keep in mind that sex is a product of love. Love is never a product of sex. This means sex comes as part of love, but you must have love to begin with. To my wife and I, love meant committing to each other for eternity. Until I put the stamp on it, I didn’t want to have sex. I desired sex, but I didn’t want or need it then. I wanted to honor God, but also develop a love life uninfluenced by any lust. What we had to do, was date different from the norm. We went out on actual dates, instead of “Netflix-and-chilling.” We came over to each other’s place, but never stayed too late. I spent the night at her place one or twice while I was visiting from out of state, (I slept on the couch), however we didn’t build a habit of staying with each other. To keep on this celibacy journey, you can’t do what every couple finds comfortable. To them, having sex on the regular is comfortable.
If you are on a journey of celibacy, I would like to say I am proud of you. Continue to be different in this generation. I hope you find your love partner, and that the wait isn’t too long. This blog post was to highlight certain things that helped my wife and I, it wasn’t written to tell you the exact way to do it. There are more people like you out there than you realize, and there are more people who applaud these things than you think. Continue on this beautiful journey, I hope these words somehow blessed you.