How to Properly Slide into Her DM

Yes, this is seriously a blog post. How to seriously approach a woman via DM about a serious connection. As silly as it sounds, social media etiquette is a necessity in this time that we are living in. But, I am not here to talk about the fullness of that. I am here to help the fellas out with a better to approach to women online; how to approach properly and be more productive. Now when I say more productive, I am not a guru that is here to teach you how to say keywords to “lure in a woman,” or anything like that. It’s a little foolish to think women can just be categorized into pick-up lines. I am just sharing my insights, because I think enough men who are actually looking for a woman have been left on “seen” or “read” with no reply, long enough.


1.) Figure out your “why?”

I am not kidding, you need a good reason why. Now, just any reason isn’t a good reason, the reason must have an end goal. Hooking up is not an end goal, it’s a foolish goal. There are countless men online who see a woman and just because she looks good, Why do you feel like she might me be the right fit in your life, merely because she is fit?  Ask yourself, why do I even want to contact this woman? What is it about her besides her looks, that pulls me in? What is attractive to me about her online presentation? This is something people looking for partners anywhere should do, before they even approach a person. In this case, if your reason is a good one, it’ll be harder to put your foot in your mouth when it does lead to a conversation. You need to set a good foundation.

2.) Know enough about who you are approaching

Don’t be a stalker, but don’t just approach a random woman you’ve been following for 5 seconds, and dive into her inbox professing your interest. As I said, you need your “why” to be a good one. How can you have a good reason “why” that proves that you’re not being shallow when you don’t have enough hint about the person. You have to get a clue my friend. Research her profile, find her likes and dislikes, common things she does, type of people she hangs out with, etc. Social media profiles tell us more about people than we think. Everyone often says, ‘Well, people only present a life online.’ Yes, they do, however even if they are lying, it’s rooted in who they are. You can identify someone’s sense of humor, views, aspirations, and many other things through the personal information they share online. It may not be to entirety, but there’s room for reliable hints.


3.) Stay away from the typical messages

The “Hey beautiful, I’d like to know you,” and other typical and sometimes corny lines, aren’t going to help you get a response. Quite often, many women see those types of messages online, especially beautiful women who trigger thirsty men’s attention. Many guys will try to prove that they are different from other men when they talk to a woman online, but tend to use the most common approaches in the book. Be authentic, be creative, be you. A simple message about why you’re approaching her can be a good pitch, as long it’s genuine. Maybe include something about HER that you recognize, that might not be easily detected. Take some educated guesses and apologize if you’re wrong. Be the different man you are trying to be, from the start.


4.) Aggressive & spammy is a turn off

Because of the lack of patience in most of us guys, and in the microwave-ready society like ours, we hate waiting for anything. Waiting on someone to reply usually frustrates us. The way guys react to this very thing, is usually what blows their chances. If she doesn’t reply quickly, don’t assume she may have missed it and build a reason why, sending her a second message after 59 seconds. I can assure you that many women aren’t waiting around to see if Mr. Right is going to slide in her DM’s. Give her time, give it a week or two if she doesn’t reply. There’s nothing wrong with sending a second message, but give the first one time to breathe. If the second doesn’t work, let it go. If you do decide to do another one, give those messages space to breathe as well, and don’t become the annoying guy who isn’t getting a clue. I would limit it to less than 4 messages. Trust me, whether she has 200k followers or 200, she sees it. People read their messages. People are on their phones all the time, so believe me, despite how much internet fame they have, they will read it. (Unless they are a busy entertainer or something)


5.) If she replies…

This is where you apply your “why.” Many men get messages back, but as I’ve mentioned before, their “why” is usually so childish, that they don’t get too far. For example, guys looking to meet her in the bedroom will betray themselves in their speech eventually. Your intent will show through conversation, especially when you’re a player, which is pathetic. Execute your “why,” let the conversation start naturally, operate within your intent, and take it slow. If you hope to build a connection with her and later become partners, this is a perfect time to start building that friendship. Keep the conversation within the DM’s long enough, and wait for her to offer her number, or find a good time to ask for it. Whatever you do, get established there.


Off to the races

Then try to do what is necessary to build with her, and see where things go…

Now, know this: you can win at this and still get the worst woman you will ever meet. At least you successfully slid in her DM’s.

Pierre Alex Jeanty is regular guy who sees things different from the majority. He is the founder of Gentlemenhood. A full time blogger, Author, social media specialist, health nut, Certified Life Coach and most importantly a disciple of Christ. Born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti now Alex resides in Lehigh Acres, Florida where he focuses on making a difference in this world.

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