The outcomes of every situation or problem has the power to change people, their perspectives, attitudes and character either for the better or for the worst.
Some people take losses and disappointments as the green light to treat everyone and approach every potential friendship, relationship or opportunity the same way it was given to them. As an example, your boyfriend/girlfriend betrayed you and did things for you to look at their loyalty differently or they have lacked an area in the relationship that was vital, because of their past and you, in the long run, guard your heart so well, you have looked at everything with the same mindset that was given to you.
So, because of that one event, you’ve made the choice to turn bitter and reluctant to put yourself out there. The keyword in that previous sentence is: choice. You have the power to choose happy or sad, pity or power, life or death. And not literally death as in the physical but dead in spirit — joy, peace, any good emotion or feeling. You see everyone in one way – to betray you or mistreat you. I’m not saying it won’t happen again, but you just know how to handle it in a more positive way.
Accept what is and acknowledge that people aren’t as experienced as you or have a heart like you. When you recognize that, you won’t put up a wall like everyone else! If you choose to act the same way you have before, you won’t grow internally. Everything happens more than once for one to really get it. Never give someone the power to change or alter that beautiful side of you. From your soul to your outer appearance. Though you have endured it all — from bad break-ups to untrustworthy people — you know the feeling isn’t a nice place to get comfortable in. What you have endured can be someone’s wake up call to think better or to do better. It’s just better to still look at love (whether romantic or platonic) how you previously looked at it when your mom or dad bought you that doll you have always wanted. You cannot lose your heart or joy, because the disappointments people bring. You just have to put all bitterness aside and chose to let the situation better you.
Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and without our noticing it eats away at our souls until one day we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.
Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist