When we receive a new gift, we shake the box until we get an idea of what is inside. If after multiple shakes we don’t have yet a clue, we ferociously open the box and discover the mystery. Is it naïve to ask that we do the same thing with people? Can we stop assuming and work towards discovering who they really are? Can we not make our own mystery of them, but let them show who they truly are? Just like we shake the box, can we talk, get to know and love people for what they possess inside? If we still don’t know, can we then open the box and allow what’s inside to display itself? It is time we look beyond skin color. It is time we see beauty and love within our human race.
All over the internet are communities and sub-communities of interracial dating. Being the inquisitive person that I am, I dove into the world of interracial dating so I can research what those communities are working so hard to protect and gain acceptance for. I have never been in an interracial relationship so I could not have spoken from a personal standpoint.
Today, in 2014, people are being judged and looked down upon for being with someone of a different race. As if there is a pure breed in any race. It is difficult to find the logic behind the hatred. People in loving relationships are oppressed because they feel as if they are betraying their own race for being with someone from a different race. Through my research, I noticed women are targeting other women in relationships with white, Asian or any men from other races, accusing them of betrayal. Betraying what, exactly? When did we go back and lost the right to be with the one we love? When did it become betrayal to be with someone of a different race who loves and cherishes us beyond color?
We have our personal preferences. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them. If your preference is to be with men or women of your own race, that is YOUR preference. It is not a law for everyone else to follow. Till this day, discrimination is a hard concept for me to comprehend. The notion of it is not getting through my cranium. We are all humans. Period. No color, no boundaries, no rule, no law can change that.
God did not create this wonderful, colorful, world for us to crunched up in a little one- color box. We are to explore and branch out. No crayon box comes with one color crayons. It comes with a plethora of colors for the artist to use as he or she pleases. How are we supposed to reach people when we are stuck on looking at color?
One woman made this comment in one of the interracial relationship groups I follow, ” I feel as if I am betraying my race for being with a white men when things about black people are circulating the news channels.” My questions are; is she comfortable to talk about issues from both sides in her relationship? Is she feeling like a traitor because she fears she is not choosing her race’s side in things? Are people from her race making her feel this way?
I don’t know the answers to the questions above. What I have noticed is women making negative comments to other women for being in relationships with men of a different race. I have also noticed men blaming the women of their race for the reason they are in relationship with a woman of a different race. All of the comments and the blaming needs to stop. To the women- other people’s choices is none of your business. To the men- your reason for dating outside of your race is your personal preference. It is not the fault of the women of your race. If you are putting down your own race, you are putting down yourself as well. If one woman caused you to turn to a different source for a relationship, that was the cause of your own experiences. One woman does speak for all women (not in this case at least).
As a Haitian woman, I am open to date any men from any race as long as he possesses the qualities that I am looking for in mate. It is shallow to think that dating outside of your race is a problem. It is up to you to have a preference or not. It is 2014, grow up!
A little more or less melanin is causing all these issues?! Really?
To loving beyond color,
An open minded woman