I know what you were thinking when you read the title of this article., “Didn’t I just read something about you being single and waiting on God’s best or something?” Yes, you are right. Therefore, I am not writing about successful relationships and marriages from a personal standpoint, at least not yet. I do this thing where whenever I meet women-and sometimes men if they are older-who have been married for a long time or short time, I ask them my famous question: What do you think is the glue that has kept, and is keeping, you two together? I have been doing this for a while now, so I have gotten many answers. About a year ago, I started writing them down. I am not keeping a list for me, nor do I believe all these things will make my future marriage work. I am trying to gain an understanding of the conductors of successful marriages. This morning on my way from church, I was listening to a pastor preaching about relationships and marriages. I love listening to these kinds of messages. I appreciate when pastors are bold enough to touch on sensitive subjects that are part of the reality we all live in. His message inspired me to share my list with you.
What is the glue that has kept and is keeping your marriage alive? (the following answers are in no particular order)
1) Spend time together and spend time alone. It is ok to explore individual interests.
- “My husband loves football, I love to bake and shop. When it is football season, I watch with him as much as I can tolerate and then I go over to the kitchen to bake the latest brownie-cookie recipe I found on Pinterest,” a wife of three years explained to me.
2) Learn to see things from each other’s perspective.
- Keep in mind you are two different people; hence, you are not going to see eye to eye on every single thing. “My husband and I were redecorating our house and the question of color surfaced into the conversation. Before we got into an unnecessary argument, we made a list of the colors we would like to decorate with and chose from the list,” an older woman laughed as she told me their redecorating story. In any relationship, mastering the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes helps make things easier to discuss.