What Makes Great Relationships and Marriages Work

5)Don’t go to the altar until you comprehend and accept the real definition of the promise made “for better or for worse.”

• One day while eating lunch with a group of women I work with, one of them was sharing the pain a friend of hers was going through because her husband left after her because she hadn’t lost her pregnancy weight. “I don’t know how to love you this way,” he said to her before he asked for a divorce. I could not relate to her pain, but I was still angry on her behalf.  Many times men and women run from the promise they made at the altar when things take a turn for the “worse.” They scream, “I did not sign up for this!” My question is, what exactly did you sign up for then? Just for the “better” part?

6) Get over the small things; they can break your marriage.

• The smallest things bring us happiness and can break us at the same time.  “My husband used to come home and just throw an article of clothing on the floor, whatever he felt needed to come off at the door. After scolding him to place the item where it belongs, I decided I would pick it up and put it way. One day, out of the blue, he stopped doing that. Throwing his shirt or tie at the door was a small thing to him and a big deal to me. Since it mattered to me, I picked it up when he tossed it on the floor. When I questioned him about why he stopped, he explained that he realized that I loved him enough to do something for him even though it bothered me; so he decided he loves me enough to stop doing something that did made me unhappy.”  Whao! This one is a tough one for me. I absolutely hate picking up after anyone beside children who are not capable of picking up after themselves. The lesson I learned from this woman’s story is that when you love someone enough, you are willing to do anything for them-even if it is something you hate to do. She continued to explain to me that although she hated picking up after him, she was happy with the fact the shirt or tie was no longer on the floor.