Men

Independent Women are not to be Feared

I have heard things such as “You are too independent for your own good” , “Being independent takes away your feminine side”; ” Why do you have to sound so educated”, and “You are doing all the things a man should do for you so you will never get a man” from others so many times I have no idea how to reply to them.  The things people say sometimes, it is difficult to find a response to give them. I am an independent woman and I am proud of it, not because it gives me any power to be something [I am not], but because it allows me the ability to do things on my own and it is teaching me to be responsible. Being independent means taking care of my responsibilities and practicing everyday duties that are required of me-nothing more.

I was never a super feminine woman. There was a season of my life where I was a bit of a tomboy. As I grew older and became more independent, I learned to embrace my femininity and feel more comfortable with myself as I found styles that fit my personality. If anything, becoming independent made me more feminine.

I found through observations some men tend to be afraid of independent women, because they fear they will not be as needed by her as they wish to be. As a woman, demonstrating to a man that I need him has nothing to do with him taking care of the bills or his education level. It is the character traits he possesses such as: loyalty and faithfulness, whether I can depend on him emotionally or not, his sense of self, the way he treats me and so on. I have also found some women are intimidated or jealous of other women who are independent. The word independent means not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself ( dictionary.com). Somehow the true meaning of the word was lost in translation.

Now a day if someone is independent it is [almost] a negative thing. I am having a hard time figuring out since when is thinking for yourself and not being influence by others a negative thing. Both the men and women who are terrified of independent women have deeper emotional issues that need to be solved. People who feel that way tend to fear that they are not good enough, they are not strong enough or they are not at the level they wish they could be. Since they do not want to deal with the real issues, they gear  their frustrations toward others who are at a place they wish they could be, but are not.

I am independent, educated, and doing things I should be doing for myself by myself because that is life. It is what I want to do and have to do. Everyone takes their own path in life and decide how they want to care of their business. When I see or talk to people who claim they are not or don’t want to be independent, I have nothing to say to them. I am respectful of the choices they make for themselves. I think the respect should be mutual.

I have heard things such as "You are too independent for your own good" , "Being independent takes away your feminine side"; " Why do you have to sound so educated", and "You are doing all the things a man should do for you so you will never get a man" from others so many times I have no idea how to reply to them.  The things people say sometimes, it is difficult to find a response to give them. I am an independent woman and I am proud of it, not because it gives me any power to be something [I am not], but because it allows me the ability to do things on my own and it is teaching me to be responsible. Being independent means taking care of my responsibilities and practicing everyday duties that are required of me-nothing more. I was never a super feminine woman. There was a season of my life where I was a bit of a tomboy. As I grew older and became more independent, I learned to embrace my femininity and feel more comfortable with myself as I found styles that fit my personality. If anything, becoming independent made me more feminine. I found through observations some men tend to be afraid of independent women, because they fear they will not be as needed by her as they wish to be. As a woman, demonstrating to a man that I need him has nothing to do with him taking care of the bills or his education level. It is the character traits he possesses such as: loyalty and faithfulness, whether I can depend on him emotionally or not, his sense of self, the way he treats me and so on. I have also found some women are intimidated or jealous of other women who are independent. The word independent means not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself ( dictionary.com). Somehow the true meaning of the word was lost in translation. Now a day if someone is independent it is [almost] a negative thing. I am having a hard time figuring out since when is thinking for yourself and not being influence by others a negative thing. Both the men and women who are terrified of independent women have deeper emotional issues that need to be solved. People who feel that way tend to fear that they are not good enough, they are not strong enough or they are not at the level they wish they could be. Since they do not want to deal with the real issues, they gear  their frustrations toward others who are at a place they wish they could be, but are not. I am independent, educated, and doing things I should be doing for myself by myself because that is life. It is what I want to do and have to do. Everyone takes their own path in life and decide how they want to care of their business. When I see or talk to people who claim they…

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I am a 26 year-old educator on the run of becoming all that I can in the time that I have. A few years ago, I embarked on a journey filled with spiritual discoveries, healthy habits, and a passion for education stronger than I've ever had. Learning what to do to become a better person have always interest me. One of my passions is to know a little about everything in order to gain the capability of forming my own opinion so others won't have to do it for me. Another passion that was buried deep inside finally came to the surface and allowed me to see the adventurous side of me. I am on a journey to see the world and do things outside of my comfort zone. I will write all about it along the way!

This article has 5 comments

  1. ADTRINIDAD

    Beautiful. I’ve always said a relationship should be a team. Being intimidated by a strong woman opens the curtain of cowardice of a man. I love me a strong, independent woman as a teammate. Great piece.

    • BlackMoon

      Simpin’

    • Yve Destiné

      Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I am happy that you as a man feel this way about independent women. Boys will be boys, they say. At least there are men like out there.

  2. Paul

    I can also agree they are not loyal and do who they please!

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