You Will Know When It’s Time To

Ever since I could remember, I’ve always wanted to know the answer to everything. I wanted to know why people were upset with me, I wanted to know why my relationship failed, I wanted to know my purpose for living and why was I saved from my accident; I wanted to know answers that weren’t meant for me to know just yet. I tried to figure out problems on my own by “putting two and two together” then, shortly after, I look like a dummie. The more I tried to find reasons or answers to why things happened the more unhappy I became. I also became easily irritable, because I would be interrupted while thinking – I hurt a lot of people because of that too. I hadn’t learned to just leave things alone and I hadn’t learn that some things aren’t meant to be revealed to me, either because I couldn’t handle the truth or I would try to fix it on my own and I would again fail.

Why? because I tried to use what I thought in my mind had grasped to fix new problems or other people’s problem. That’s why we learn from it then when we have let it go.  The answer comes to us in many forms — through people, reading, another relationship or when you’re simply keeping yourself occupied. As human beings, we expect fast, reasonable answers to the disappointments of life. We assume that we have figured it all out, when in fact, we are so far from it. We allow past experiences to help us figure out a problem, but truth is, this is a new lesson.

As we grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually we are given the same test to see if we have learned the first or third time. It helps up to approach every disappointment or failures cautiously and when to accept what is or will be whether we break our necks trying to make it right. Most of the time it isn’t about us, but the other person. We think we can help them – well, I do, but we can’t.  Every puzzle isn’t meant to be solved quickly and it takes time and patience. “Why” questions only puts us in places we shouldn’t be, thus allowing us to miss the moments and people around us. They only stir up fear and confusion that also won’t allow us to sleep or eat rather keep us distracted.

Trying to find an answer to the inevitable drives a person into a brick wall every time. To understand why things happen to us is to be at a place in your life where you’re willing to accept and learn or adapt to a new circumstance. You may have to face brick walks and walk through dark alleys to really understand that life is in fact not to be understood, but to be the stairs of growing into a new and peaceful person. You cannot force yourself to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have to accept and forgive as you endure pain, hurt and confusion. It will all make sense in the end…

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7

My name is Glenneisha Darkins, I was involved in a tragic rollover accident. The accident left me as as a vent dependent quadriplegic. I am unable to move anything below my breasts. Going back to how I got this way, I got ejected from the vehicle coming from college in Tallahassee, FL on Thanksgiving break– I was attending Florida A&M University. I caught a ride with a student I barely knew just to get home to see my family. It didn't dawn on me that this would turn out to be a tragic outcome. I only remember waking up in the hospital asking for my belongings. The other people in the vehicle walked away except for me and the driver. The doctors announced my injuries to myself and mom; I am a C3-C4 and T-11 paraplegic. My left diaphragm was severely damaged leaving me on a breathing machine until further notice. It was unfortunate for me to end up having limitations. Before my accident, I was a very active child in school and outside. I played sports preferably basketball. However, this hasn't stopped me. I am now enrolled in college at Florida International University as a Psychology major. I attend online class and on-campus. This is evident that my situation doesn't stop me from living my life! I constantly remind my friends and family that I am thankful to be able to accomplish my goals despite my current condition. I inspire my mother, my brother, and friends. I am extremely honored to have survived such a accident. I've gain more courage than I've had before. My season has yet to begin and I thank The Lord and Savior!

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