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Joshua and Malcolm,
Thank you gentlemen for sharing. I am glad we have been driven toward and decided to take a more positive path than the one that we grew up in. Because you have experienced what it is like to be without a father, you will learn to be better and stronger fathers to your children and husbands to your future wives.
Desiree,
Be patient. It is a work in progress. I am still a work in progress. I started my journey a few years ago and still today there are times where I have to remind myself when I need to speak up to men in authority, when I need to be vulnerable and remember my role is to be the woman God made me to be. I am so happy for you in your walk with God. He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him, so He will meet your needs and desires of your heart.
Alex,
Thank you for sharing from a man’s prospective. Many times the women are the ones the light is shine on for the lack of father figure when it is clear that young men are affected as well.
Desiree,
I completely agree with you. For a long time I made myself believe I could do everything I needed and wanted to do without a man. I had a hard time letting people in and allowing myself to be vulnerable because I was strong enough to do it all on my own. Thank God, I think differently now that I have seen many examples of strong, mature men of God.It is heart wrenching how much trouble and pain come about when any one piece of the puzzle ( mom, dad, me) is missing. Like you guys, I grew up without a father figure in the home. On top of that, I grew up with two people whose parenting styles greatly differ ( mom for the first 12 years of my life in Haiti, grandma for six in the USA). I always felt the void without knowing what to do to fill it up. So I buried myself in school and work. I was afraid of men, especially those in authority. I made myself a loner and avoided people as much as I could. I grew up somewhat catholic ( I’ll just live it at that) so I really did not have a clear understanding of God’s grace and power to heal. A few years ago I decided to branch out and through that I discovered God’s greatness and His son’s blood. Over time I learned to respect men without fearing them, authority or not. I learned to be cautious without the thought that everyone is out to get me. I learned to make real friends without thinking that everyone who enters my life will leave just as fast as they came in. I even tried dating a couple of times. Slowly, I am learning to let go of the hurt, heal, and let God’s grace fill my void. I set my eyes on good, God fearing men and women in the church in order to get a better idea of what mature men and women are.
*** Thanks for sharing you guys. In that, I believe we will continue to grow and heal.A man should fight for a woman however long it takes him to win her heart. That time frame should not be measured in amount of days or months or years even. As long as the man knows what he is fighting for, time will be irrelevant. Women who simply need time will let you know somehow that you are not fighting in vain. Some women like to be pursued which in turn gives them time to figure out what the man is all about-demonstration of his character is shown in how he pursues her and the effort he is willing to put in.
