Recently, I started planning for my wedding. Don’t give me that look; you are either planning as well, thinking about planning, or you have not thought about it nor are you doing it, in which case I applaud you and request that you keep it that way for your own sake. I discovered Pinterest and the art of making a board for everything I dream of emerged out of me. So now I have a board for my future wedding, my hair regimen, clothes I will never buy and food I hardly cook.
I realized all of this planning ahead is probably in vain because when I meet the man that God has so diligently prepared for me, I will love him so much that I will marry him in pajamas in front of my doorstep as he came by just to say good morning before he left for work. I would marry him in my pajamas with no makeup if it were to come down to that- and I would not care one bit about it. I guess a woman can dream so I am dreaming of the most elegant wedding all the while the fact that I need to prepare for an elegant marriage is lingering in the back of my mind.
What is important to me is that I am ready for a marriage more than anything else and keep in mind that when everyone leaves, when all the food and drink are gone; it will be me and him that will remain. Then, we will have to make do with the two of us. We will be the two left to build our faith and our home, work on our marriage, raise our children, lift each other up, and make things work with the two of us walking on either side of the triangle to reach the top together.
There is nothing wrong with an elegant wedding consisting of all the things I have on my board, I simply need to keep at the forefront of my mind that that is not the most important thing. M comes before W, marriage first then wedding second. I believe things that last longer tend to require more preparation. The wedding is for a day or maybe a week depends on your culture, but the marriage is for a lifetime. Although I will have a lifetime to continuously be prepared, some things I need to be prepared for and embrace starting now. The whole idea of feeding people and spending money on a whole bunch of things that will last just one evening does not appeal to me much in actuality. So yes, I would marry him in front of my doorstep, in my pajamas, as he surprises me with “good morning sweetheart, I just wanted to see you before I leave for work” on his way to work. I actually know someone who married her husband in the backyard of their new home while having families over for a BBQ. It worked for them and I applaud their uniqueness. Wedding is a billion-dollar industry and whether you get a wedding planner or not you still participate in the increase of the industry.
I like traditions and I participate in many of them, however, I don’t believe in them hindering my life. My mind is too outside of the box to let mere traditions paralyze me. After some revelation, I actually want to marry in a pink dress or have pink somewhere on my dress. ” Who are you to destroy thousands of years worth of traditions?” Someone who says it is also tradition to wash your hands before you eat, but how many of you do it every single time? It is also tradition that you not marry completely in white unless you are a virgin. How many of you abide by that? In any case, that is not the point of this piece. The point is that planning so far in advance, spending so much time and money on a wedding that traditionally will last one evening to a week, can be personalized. For me, love and marriage are more important. If you can afford a gigantic, fancy wedding then by all means, please. On the other hand, if you cannot then don’t do it in the name of traditions.