For the first time, she seriously asked God when He was going to send her mate. For some reason, this time around she asked in a more sentimental, heart-wrenching way. Then she heard in her spirit; “why do you want to be with someone”? After a few seconds, answers such as, “I want to be with someone”, “I am getting older”, “I want to live my life with my partner”, ” I want to get married and have my own family”, “I want a baby”( this is one she has not heard of in a long time), were bouncing through her head. “None of these answers made clear sense, not even to me”, she thought to herself. Then finally, from deep within her, she heard a still small voice that said, “I would like to meet and start life with the one You made for me because I am ready to praise you along side the one you created me to praise along side”. More so than the question she received, the way she asked for her mate this time around surprised her. “I think this time I asked in a way that made me feel as if I really, truly want it” she confessed.
She wants to be with someone for the right reasons. Reasons such as the desire to build, grow along side another, create, move forward, care deeply and intimately for someone else. Like a change that occurred overnight, she instantly felt a brand new woman arose inside of her and she felt like a wife, a mother, a lover, a supporter, a kisser, a singer, a prayer worrier, a chef, a breath of fresh air among many other things she is having a difficult time describing. She felt…ready… to say the least.
What does this mean? How does she move forward from here? She knows that she has the privilege of asking for something when she needs it and with prayer and supplications she can make her request made known to God, her creator, lover, author of her faith, and the One who has no problem meeting her desires. This means she can rest assure, trust, be still and know that she is being taken care of. The unclear answers above; although unclear, they are still desires that will be met along with the answer she felt is the right one. She desires to be married, to live life with another human being that she will care and love deeply and intimately beyond the love she has for herself. She desires to exercise the nature in her that will allow her to carry and comfort a new born into adulthood and on. She craves to build a home and be a steady, loving, welcoming place where those she loves will always look forward to coming home to.
To man whom she is hoping just had the same revelation she did, she writes….
This time around, I truly want you! Finally the desire to be with you was not influence by any outside factor. It all came from me, the bottom of my heart, somewhere deep within. It was not because I saw a cute baby, a family that seems well put together, married couples on a nice dinner date, or anything else that usually make me feel as if I am missing something. I want you for me, for you, and for the sole purpose of being with you.