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Why You Should Keep Your Relationship Private and off of Social Media

Social media has become so important to us that it now has the power to destroy relationships. Whether those relationships were solid or not is another topic.  So many arguments in relationships revolve around social media. People have lost the art of privacy, they don’t know the difference between it and secrecy. One of the biggest arguments that people have concerning social media is whether or not your partner should be featured on your social media sites. I posted a short story on my Instagram page (@Gentlemenhood) about a man who simply wants to be private about his relationship but his woman feels like he’s hiding something or doesn’t love her enough. Many women went berserk on my page as always when I share sensitive topics. One even stated that it’s not ethical, posting your significant other should be a part of life. It’s crazy how invested we are into social media. So many, primarily women, attack it from every angle.  Most made assumptions based on their interpretation claiming it’s false when they weren’t clear in what context the short story originated. A lot of them questioned fidelity on the topic, making it appear as if a lack of broadcasting your partner is for cheaters; when in reality the best cheaters do what is necessary to make their partner feel as if they are fully invested in the relationship. I’ve seen relationships where I knew one person wasn’t being faithful, but that one posted about their partner every week. If someone is going to cheat most of the time posting online isn’t going to stop them. It is interesting that most believe that not posting is a red flag for cheating. Before I continue on I’d like to say that if you need to run to social media to check on your partner you already picked the wrong person. Social media isn’t the problem most of the time, the person you’re with is just simply wrong for you.

 
Now let’s address about posting online. First, I do not say no to posting online ever. That’s just people’s interpretation of a simple short story of a scenario. When the topic is sensitive to you, you only see it from your perspective. What I believe is that it’s overdone and usually without substance.
Here’s why I personally suggest keeping the relationship private.

 

1.) It can create a false idea of validation.

In established relationships, social media posts is something that is done. It’s not a stamp on the love, just a simple act that doesn’t hold much weight. The married couple with a solid relationship doesn’t need that. Especially if they are private. Some people just don’t want part of their “personal life” on there. It’s surprisingly hard for some to grasp that. They believe if you post a picture of a meal you need to post a picture of your partner. A meal is not personal, your love life is. In many non-established relationships it’s the way for some to feel accepted. To some women sometimes it’s a way of saying “hey look at me, I finally found someone who likes me.” To some guys it’s a “hey I got me a nice chick this time, I’m the man.” In many ways it can be of no substance just validation to feed insecurities. People do show people off for the wrong reasons. Your partner can show you off for the wrong reasons.

Pierre Alex Jeanty is regular guy who sees things different from the majority. He is the founder of Gentlemenhood. A full time blogger, Author, social media specialist, health nut, Certified Life Coach and most importantly a disciple of Christ. Born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti now Alex resides in Lehigh Acres, Florida where he focuses on making a difference in this world.

This article has 14 comments

  1. Ami

    i completely agree …

  2. Keisha

    It took me a while, but I get this now. At one time I felt that if he didn’t post a picture of me, our vacations or the things I did for him that he was “hiding” our relationship but now I’m realizing that I was wanting to be known as his woman as opposed to working on our relationship. So now, privacy is best. Social media definitely puts people into your relationship and that opens the door for tons of problems. Great article!!

    • Sade Cathey

      Im going through that now with my boyfriend not wanting to post us on social media so i question it smh now i understand why

  3. Social Butterfly

    Can I tell you how I really appreciate your articles? It gives me an inside look on how men really think. I am in a relationship with someone that posts everyone and everything except me. He says he posts things he doesn’t care about. However, at one point we were broken up and he dated another woman and had a couple of pictures on his page of her. How could I not feel some type of way? I automatically took it as he is hiding me or not proud to have me on his arm but after reading this maybe there is some truth to privacy. Every now and then you get that post on your feed of a man proclaiming his love to his woman and it makes me wonder why I cant get at least one post of this emotional magnitude. Or even a birthday shout out lol. I feel crazy for even comparing. Thank you for allowing us women to get a sneak peek of what the other side might really feel. Without this we go on flights of imagination filling in the blanks with what we think our men thinking. Clearly we are usually completely off. I guess relationships are about listening and learning. I am trying my best to not jump to conclusions.

  4. Chaquevia Dumas

    “A lot of them questioned fidelity on the topic, making it appear as if a lack of broadcasting your partner is for cheaters; when in reality the best cheaters do what is necessary to make their partner feel as if they are fully invested in the relationship.”

    I blame Beyonce’s “Say My Name” or was that Destiny’s Child? Either way, it’s the same concept: people feeling more “secure” if their partner is posting about, or, “saying their name if no one is around them.” They and their relationship are based on the world and not on God’s word.

  5. A.J.

    I absolutely love this. I have always been somewhat private about my love life. But with a new partner, I have been even more so. At first it used to bug me that I wasn’t “tagged” or “displayed” on his page. But after reading this, I realize that those were simply my insecurities. I am okay with keeping things private. Thanks for this wonderful article.

  6. marie

    This has a great impact to me because I realized that im acting insecure in our relationship for getting mad at my boyfriend for not posting photos or any about us. Privacy is better, not all people are concern..some are just curious. Love for your partner doesnt measure through broadcasting your lovr to your partner..

  7. Francisca

    This is so true. I am also not a big fan of couples revealing their relationships on social media. Thanks!!

  8. Shantel

    I get it. My new boyfriend said a majority of these points and we discussed it a lot. This article is definitely on point.

  9. Vendy

    I’m in a very promising relationship and neither any of us broadcast our privacy on social media… we both love each other and I’ve never worried about him not posting my pictures cz Its not my thing…..

  10. lizz maynes

    Ur article enlightened me. Now i understand my fiance’ y he never posted my pics or shout to the world bout me. I thought he is hiding me and not proud of me that sometimes i think he is hiding somethng from me or cheatin on my back. That, sometimes gives me the feeling of insecurities, jealousy to somethng that cause him to get annoyed and start discussions between us. He said, he dnt want any1 to know bout me to protect me and us, and 2ndly he is a veri private person. Sometimes i even wanted to break-off with him. I jaz love him so much thats y i try to understand. But now i understand him and love him more. He is a true gentleman. The right man for me. Tnx for the article. An eye opener.

  11. dhea

    I relate with your article, because I am one of those girls who think that not posting any about your partner considered that he is ashamed of me or he is hiding something to me. He refuse to friend me in Facebook because he believed that this may start misunderstandings and everything between us should remain private. No need to broadcast, the status of relationship in real life is much important. Facebook is just a Facebook. No biggie.

  12. EarthWomb

    Okay I feel like a total idiot now for feeling insecure about my boyfriend not posting about me on social media. We’ve been together for 2.5 years and I always thought he was keeping me a secret. We used to argue about it from time to time. But I realize social media does ruin things..like the sacredness of a relationship. The two simply don’t go together. This is between us, not us and the world.

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