Relationships

Underlying Issues in Interracial Dating

I am a Haitian woman who is open minded in regards to dating in or outside of my race. I am also a person who likes to see all four angles of a quadrilateral so I could not help but look into what is NOT being fully talked about in the interracial dating world. Beyond the frustrations and accusations of betrayal from both black men to black women and black women to black men lies some other questions that should be brought to the surface.

Is interracial dating a trend? 

  • Interracial dating has been going on for longer than it seems. It simply has gotten more publicity through media with the advance of technology. However, I could not help but raise the question, ” are some women dating because it is the ” it” thing to do nowadays?” Some black men make the claim that black women are treating their interracial relationships with white men like a trophy (an accomplishment worth displaying all over the internet).  I am not picking a side by adding the previous statement. I am in the middle observing both sides of this issue. I follow a page called Love Beyond Borders. On that page, I have read a countless number of posts of black women from across the continents asking to be matched with partners who are white. One woman posted, ” I am not attracted to men from my race, I am attracted to white men.” Another posted, ” I am dying to be in an interracial relationship.” Many others comment on pictures of the black and white couples, ” I wish this was me” and ” this will be me one day.”  Whether these women are seeking refuge from terrible relationships with men from their own culture or simply want to try something new, I am still curious as to why exactly they are choosing white (sometimes Asian) men.

Are black women looking at white men as supremacy?

  • The community of black men who are opposed to black women flashing their white boyfriends or husbands all over the internet are making the claim that black women are looking at white as men as the better kings (snow kings). I thought whoever makes you happy and you are compatible with is your king? Alright, moving along.  I don’t have the answer to this question. I was thinking of posting the question on a couple of the pages I follow, but I was not sure how these women would take it and I did not want to start anything I was not willing to fully partake in. I understand how it can seem a little offensive, although it is not my intention at all. I am simply wondering if the black men’s claim has some sort of truth behind it. When black women only ask for white men as potential matches, at which point is it a preference or something else? (I am curious to find answers to this question, why are black women preferring white men?)

Are white men (some) simply interested in the experience of interracial dating or real love? 

  • I read an article that touched bases on this issue.  I was excited to read it and that someone actually took the step to surfaced that question. When I read comments like, ” the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice”, I love dark skin black women”, I always prefer black women”, ” I am white but I am not attracted to white women.” I am not exactly sure what these men are trying to portray posting these comments but it still brought up some concerns for me.  I am not stating that these men are not sincere or that their preferences are not real. I am just asking a legitimate question here. I know, any men of any skin color can choose a particular woman for the experience, but that is not the point here.

I would love to hear other people’s perspectives about this rising issue.  I don’t want to bring any issues in people’s relationships (although, I do believe you should be able to talk about any and everything in your relationship, but I am not your relationship counselor, so moving on…) So, if you are in an interracial relationship or you have been, I would love to discuss your take on any of the questions above.  Please keep in mind I am not trying to bring up controversial or touchy issues in your relationships.

 

I am a 26 year-old educator on the run of becoming all that I can in the time that I have. A few years ago, I embarked on a journey filled with spiritual discoveries, healthy habits, and a passion for education stronger than I've ever had. Learning what to do to become a better person have always interest me. One of my passions is to know a little about everything in order to gain the capability of forming my own opinion so others won't have to do it for me. Another passion that was buried deep inside finally came to the surface and allowed me to see the adventurous side of me. I am on a journey to see the world and do things outside of my comfort zone. I will write all about it along the way!

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