Why Sex Shouldn’t Come Before Commitment

Sex has become more important than love in today’s world. Many people’s idea of love is centered more around how you can rock my world not so much on how true our connection is. A generation of men and women dying for attention. Women adore getting hit on and being called freaks. They enjoy showing and giving the goodies; and men love attracting attention, advertising their tongue game, their material possessions, and their body count.
It’s all backwards, we’re undoubtedly chasing lust with the idea that it’s going to turn into love. We are backwards. We’ve gotten to a point where we believe sex after marriage is for idiots, lame folks, people who are ugly, and weirdos. If it’s not about that good sex then why be with them right? You need to be pleased right?

Well we are getting pleasure and heartbreaks. A bunch of soul ties for orgasms. We fill our voids with sex and using promiscuity to define our identity because in this generation that stuff gets you the eyes. It’s all about good head, big butts, and good sex sessions more than anything.

Only if we could see how much we are hurting ourselves. If we could postpone sex until marriage how much better would it make things?

Well here’s some beliefs you can get out of your mind and maybe you can see why it’s better to put sex on hold.

1.) It’s just sex, it’s part of a relationship. Nope sex clouds your judgement – we often hear sex complicates things. Most of us don’t know how and don’t care but it does. They say love makes you do stupid things, but good sex can make you make stupid decisions. Imagine meeting someone you have nothing in common with. You can clearly see if you had a relationship with them it would going no where, but loneliness led you to go out to a party with them, drinks got involved, and bam it happened. The sex was good but he or she is a bad match. Well what happened? Your lust filled heart will raise your curiosity and justifying will start. After sleeping together a few times eventually you’ll start saying “this ain’t that bad, this isn’t that bad.” How many times have we fell for someone who we didn’t even like from the start? We settled because they were giving us something we felt we needed at the time.
Sex makes more things acceptable. It makes compromising easier, and really sometimes goes against logic. When you choose to keep sex out you get to know the person for who they truly are. If you fall in love with them, you fall in love with the real them, real connections, a real bond not influenced by anything. Most men won’t stick around if they aren’t getting sex. Why would you want to be with someone who can’t be with you because of no sex? How did the older generation make it? They valued sex, and many practiced it only in marriage. Don’t you see how their love stories are different from ours.

Pierre Alex Jeanty is regular guy who sees things different from the majority. He is the founder of Gentlemenhood. A full time blogger, Author, social media specialist, health nut, Certified Life Coach and most importantly a disciple of Christ. Born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti now Alex resides in Lehigh Acres, Florida where he focuses on making a difference in this world.

This article has 26 comments

  1. Aniekeme Bishop

    This is beautiful, I never thought about sex in this manner, I’m reconsidering my steps. You have blessed me, thank you!

  2. Jovanna

    Thank you for your words! You really opened my eyes. I waited for a long time but this year on my birthday I gave it away. I feel horrible about it. I know I can’t take it back but I know I am forgiven and that it’s too late for me!

    • admin

      Awesome. Thank you for reading and keep your head up. You can always start the Journey of celibacy. You are not any less.

  3. Tary

    WOW!!! This is beautifully written and explained. Many thanks to you.

  4. Suzana Salieva

    Sex before marriage is very deep issue has many ethical,moral,material and pshycic social faces.
    1.Developin willpower,practising releasing of illusional desires,we believe is passion
    starts with understanding the things..what is passion,what is love and what is emotion and what is condition and what is situation..than its called self knowing which is esteem,and attraction on successful one.
    2.Losing your self happens on our weekness.Most of the times making love is actually war between genders,between men etc.I mean most of the time what we want and we get has nothing to do with the real main thing we desire..falls apart very far from it bcz of various reasons like collective misleading.
    3.Practising Yoga .having a stable income and friends family circle help indivudual to grow healthy binds he rarely has to cut as a piece of his soul.

    thank you for sharing this and enlighting many generations disaccordance.

  5. Elle

    My landlord who happens to be a pastor told me the same thing after I broke up with my boyfriend. Andvi have to say he made a lot of sense, ans so do you. Thank you for this article I just met a guy who I’ve only been on a first date with and already we have talked about sex. I feel like I neede a reminder and this article came at the right time. Keep writing, you are saving lives with the written word. I salute you.

    • admin

      Thank you very much and i am glad you agree with this and find it helpful. Thank you for being a reader

  6. ash

    its a great article and glad I found it. M in my mid 20s n my boyfriend is in his early 30s. We both have not involve physically yet as we are hindus and in hinduism its a big no no for pre marital sex.. I personaly think sex bfr mariage is not safe and that everyone should value themselves by not engaging in sexual activities. Just wait for the right time, everything wil fall into places

  7. Magda

    I agree. Well said.

  8. emmanuel

    What a wonderful piece, though i’ve got no lady at this time i’ll keep in mind for when I have. Thanks.

    • Roland Nelson

      U r in a good position for this u know, sort of …Preparing for war in times of peace…

  9. Charmaine

    Beautiful insight & well executed article. Lust & Desires are not equal to Love. Love is more than just sexual needs.

  10. CJ

    This is so encouraging. I am a disciple of Christ as well and for a long time before really taking my walk with God seriously I didn’t value myself or the way I treated women. Viewing them as objects for my sexual pleasure. It took me years of heartbreaks, dissatisfaction and wasted time to realize the things you spoke about in the article. I am very encouraged my brotha and I’ll be buying your book. Keep being a light bro!

  11. SlimmRed

    These words were a painful truth that I realized a little too late. I spent the better part of my young adult years confusing love with lust. At 28 enough is enough…

  12. Jo

    This is exactly how i feel..

  13. Kendra

    This blog is so powerful. We need more men like you. I’ve recently been introduced to your website through Instagram, and I can’t wait until February to read your book. I pray you stay strong throughout your spiritual journey!

  14. Renee

    God is using you for this generation. ….. thank you for being genuine, open and sincere. I needed to hear this because I’m 45 and felt this way for the last couple of years, but didn’t act upon it until now. I’m saving myself for my husband, no more sex before marriage. ……

  15. Aaliyah

    Wow, thank you. I appreciate you for writing this. It is just what I needed, I’m 19 a sophomore in college and still a virgin and the person I talk to respects that I am celibate. This reaffirmed everything I believe in so may God continue to bless you.

  16. yazeed

    This is one of the basic fundamentals for Muslims ” marriage before sex”

  17. Zeke

    Awesome piece! Keep on shining your Light on this world covered in Darkness. See you in Orlando this Thursday.

  18. Dana

    That’s why in Islam sex is forbidden before marriage, Islam valued marriage so the man and woman fulfill their needs through a serious bond where they have shared emotional responsibilities

  19. Mfon Isong

    Great piece and full of truth. Keep it up. Having a sex free relationship brings honour and the blessing of God into any relationship.

  20. Luisana

    Mom is always right. I was swept away myself and now I am in a relationship with someone I have nothing in common with but the children we have. We are still together, but it’s so difficult to share your life with someone you don’t truly care about because there is still no interaction between us even though it seems that we are pretty close. I would advise anyone else this same thing: Don’t have sex!

  21. Carolina

    I’m only 19 and I want to use this topic for a Communications speech in my college. I’m definitely a Christian but I was looking for something that wasn’t considered biased. Great peace! I’m glad a found it,.

  22. Devi

    Thank you for this encouraging and wonderful article. God is indeed using you to open the eyes of the lost generation to this world. The sex culture is huge but God’s power and domain is bigger than the world. Please pray for me that God’s holy love will remain in me and His Word will guide my footsteps. God bless you.

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