We’ve all been there, and for those who haven’t been, I want to prepare you for what you’re in-store for. Here are some steps to get passed that crushing feeling of heartache:
1) Get rid of the souvenirs: It is almost mandatory for you start throwing things away and start erasing memories – unless you believe the relationship will be restored, if there is a possibility of the relationship being rekindled, store away, give back or hid anything that pertains to the relationship to give yourself space until time permits, but never throw away anything. Memories affect a person most after heartache, the memories cause you to think about what could’ve been, what happened, what will not happen, and what you did or they did. It puts you in a stage where all you think about is the relationship and mainly in a regretful manner, this stage or phase is where it saddens many or sometimes leads to depression. Thinking about the relationship over and over again is what you need to stay away from and you can only do that by getting rid of the things that brings back old memories. Old memories will come, but having those souvenirs brings back more memories, more often.
2.) Engage in Physical Activity: Have you ever heard the term “heartbreaks make the best body builders” well it does (somewhat lol). Working out is the best remedy against heartbreak. Once you’re heartbroken, you often feel unwanted (that is why most people rush into other relationships to get rid of that feeling) your confidence isn’t there, and you may event feel worthless. Working out will help you build the confidence, make you look and feel better, which will make you feel wanted again. It also will occupy your mind and takes your focus off the relationship and so forth. (In many cases it help you meet new people as well). The main benefit from engaging in physical activity is lowering your stress levels, lowering your stress levels will overall allow you to focus on being happier, induces positive thinking and allows you to realize all that life has to offer.
3.) Get a pet: You’re used to your ex being around, but when reality hits you that they are no longer going to be around, the thought will torment you, but having a pet will change that. Having a pet will not replace them, but it will bring something else closer to you to bond with. For instance: adopting a dog was the best thing I did in the process of getting over my last break up. I gained a new friend who is always there. Taking care of a pet keeps me busy, allows less time thinking about the relationship, and the pet added more fun in my life. A pet won’t heal the heartbreak, but it will help keep your ex off your mind and make the process easier.
4.) Work on your relationship with friends: Rekindle old friendships, or build new ones. Going to the gym will help with that; go different places and talk to different people. With new friends come different activities, different things to talk about and again less time thinking about what no longer exist (the relationship) and possibly even a new relationship.
5.) Stay away from love songs: Music connects with our emotions, and it affects our mood. Hearing certain songs will trigger your memory and put you in the stage of regret. Love songs keep us hopeful most times when we are in a relationship, but at the end of one all it does is give you more reasons to cry and feel frustrated.
6.) Pick up a new hobby: Find something new to do, learn how to play the piano, take dancing lessons, read, just do anything that will give you new experiences and enjoyment. It will not only help you cut down on the time you spend thinking, but bring new experiences and possibly introduce you to new people.
7.) Do not hide from them: Usually we believe this solves everything. If we never see them, our feelings for them will die and we will get over them quicker. That belief makes sense, but in many cases it doesn’t do the job. Hiding from them will lead you to walk in fear, you will feel uncomfortable, it will limit you to do what you want to do when you want to do it. Feeling limited won’t lead to happiness. Hiding from them often cause you to remember them, make guesses about them (like what they’re doing after the relationship etc). The less you see them the more you’ll think and speak about them. Seeing them from time to time will cause you to face the reality, forces you to heal and accept things. It also gives you an idea if it’s over or if it’s just a break between the two of you.
8.) Vent: venting will help you release all your frustrations, disappointment and so forth, but only if it’s done properly. Venting to the wrong people will not help you. Usually those we vent to have inputs or suggestions at the end and being at an emotional stage we usually take their words into consideration. That’s where the bad seed enters, a bitter friend will make bitter suggestions, and that will make you bitter in the long run, by allowing your mind to be fed by negative thoughts. Positivity is contagious, so is negativity. Venting on social media won’t help either; it will only lead to everyone knowing your business and you most times making a fool of yourself. The most effective way I know is writing. I even encourage men to do journals. Writing will help you clear your mind without airing your business or getting everyone input. It lets you release every word the way you want, when you want and no one else knows it.
Write Away, Gentlemen.