I remember when I felt love again after I gave up on it and my ability to even ever love again. I was in a position in my life where I was lost, dark, and careless. The persistence of the person I grew to later love gave me hope. I knew I was very difficult to deal with. I knew my flaws were more than one had bargained for. I knew I wasn’t qualified to love. I knew I wasn’t in a position where I loved myself. Everything changed when I met love. Have you ever met love? Your palms break out in a warm sweat? Your cheeks start to hurt after smiling too much from being around them? Your body temperature becomes warm? Your eyes sparkle after staring into theirs? Have you cried randomly after realizing you’ve found comfort in another human being? You start to question, “Is this really for me?” Because you’ve been through so much and you’ve did things yourself that convinced you that you don’t deserve it. Have you stayed up late nights talking and laughing about nothing yet it meant so much? Have you been kissed on your forehead and been told, “you are precious?”
That’s who I met.
We somehow lost connection. We started to see things differently. Arguments became our everyday conversation. Little things weren’t happening anymore. Long paragraphs became one word sentences. Phone calls were cut short. Kisses and I love you’s were forced. We both got busy; unable to pencil each other into our schedules. We stopped trying. We were on different pages. We lost the groove. Love was who I once knew.
After its gone, how does one regain hope? It is a difficult question to answer because everyone have different ways of going about finding what was once theirs. However, it is important to focus on self more. Learn more about you, and make time for yourself. It is frustrating and unfair to see others experience it while you’re still waiting for yours to appear, but it is all for the better. Timing is everything. Patience is everything. Don’t throw in the towel just yet, you two will meet again when it’s right.