What makes an apology effective? We’ve heard it so many times and have said it so many times to those we’ve hurt, but why are we really apologizing? We apologize for 3 reasons: 1) because we want to drop the situation, 2) because it’s an obligation or it’s the right thing to do and 3) simply covering our behinds! These points listed should have ceased as you matured. It’s time to grow up and take effective responsibility for your actions/behaviors towards the people you love or care for. We are stubborn egoistical human beings that sometimes refuse to admit when we are wrong. It’s unfair and takes practice to tackle. However, there are effective ways to apologize. I will just touch bases on 3 of which I have developed through experiences and growth.
• One: Recognizing what you’ve done and voicing calmly why it was wrong. Mention that offending action. It makes the apology potent because you’ve acknowledged what you’ve done. It is not okay for you to apologize without taking responsibility such as “I’m sorry you feel that way.” It only makes matters worse. Rethink before you apologize just to do it.
• Two: Take note of whatever provoked you to do whatever was obviously unpleasant. Make sure that you understand what motivated you to commit to that action. Blaming outside factors that are inevitable is just going to make that apology less sincere because you’re avoiding responsibility.
• Three: When you are apologizing do not play victim. You hurt someone; not the other way around. You are not supposed to make them feel as if they were wrong or they pushed you to do what you’ve done or say what you’ve said. Be mindful of your words and show empathy.
These ways are imperative to developing growth. We’ve all said “sorry” without adhering to the points listed, and because of that people don’t really believe you understand the principle of your actions and what it has done. Apologizing is so important because it re-establishes dignity for those you’ve hurt. It let’s them know that you know it was your fault, not theirs, and helps them feel better. A sincere apology allows you to let people know you’re not proud of what you did, and won’t be repeating the behavior. It lets people know you’re a person who is careful not to hurt others, and puts the focus on your better virtues rather than on your worst mistakes; forgiveness stems from all of this.