3 Things You Need to Know About Co Parenting and Blended Families
3.) A blended family doesn’t take away, it adds.
So here comes the part where one or both of you move on in a deeper way, we are humans and we desire companionship. Just because things didn’t work out with each other doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t work out with someone else but when there is a child or children involved feelings become even more sensitive. Women usually think “well she can’t take my place” or “I don’t want her around my child”. Some men think “I don’t want my child calling another man daddy.” or “I don’t want him around my child.” What’s important to understand is that those, on the surface, aren’t unnatural things to feel so let’s start there. Your child wasn’t made with multiple people right? You weren’t in love with multiple people right? At one point you thought enough of a person to share body and life with them. Within that time no doubt so much happened and one of the biggest things was the conceiving and birth of your child. That’s a big deal, so when it comes to someone else coming into the picture and being another person your child bonds with, lives with and looks up to, that can be a very big pill to swallow.
Pop it in and swallow it. If you haven’t met anyone special or don’t have a solid relationship yet, that’s okay. This isn’t a race nor should it be a battle. Don’t count yourself out or let the fact that you haven’t moved on in the same way affect things. You always need to try to think of things as if you were in the other person’s shoes because one day you may be and when and if you are you will understand things so much better but for now here is where your perspective is everything. I feel like when you love a person you love them no matter what and you want the best for them. What you have to understand is that nobody can ever take your place nor should they have intentions to. Where a lot of people go wrong is not even considering how much anxiety the person coming into this must feel as well. Maybe they don’t have kids at all and this is new realm to them or maybe they have kids of their own and this adds more to what they have going on in their life already. No matter what, they shouldn’t be looked at like an enemy. What exactly are they guilty of? They simply love someone that you once did, someone who once loved you now loves them. Any feelings you have regarding that are personal problems and should be dealt with personally not acted upon outwardly.